Christmas Pick
by AnkouRavien
Summary: Christmas has come! It's time for a special (silly) Christmas match


The day has come for us to war on the world of Dota. Who will win this time?

"Why do we keep repeating the same thing over and over again?" a Slithereen called Slithice crosses her arms. "I demand an explanation!"

"And why Agility heroes spawn in the forest this time?" the Anti-Mage, Magina, continues the question.

Slithice giggles. "Magic!"

"I hate magic!"

"Magic! Magic! Magic!"

* * *

Let them debate. On the Radiant's side, 5 Intelligence heroes have spawned.

"It's time to bring some pain!" the Queen of Pain, Akasha, laughs maniacally.

"No pain on Christmas day! Come on!" the Faerie Dragon, Puck, protests.

The Invoker, Kael, summons 3 yellow orbs. "Sunstrike!"

* * *

On the Dire's side, there are—

"Ouch! That hurts!" the Legion Commander named Tresdin rubs her arms. She's just got attacked by something from the sky.

"The sun hates you," Kunkka laughs happily. "Therefore, you should come with me to the sea next time!"

Tresdin lifts up her one eyebrow. "Can't we just use the river here?"

The Tidehunter, Leviathan, approaches them. "Kunkkaaaaa!"

"What do you want?!"

* * *

Suddenly everyone on the world gets a piece of paper and hears a voice.

"The battle begins."

Magina tears the paper. "Seriously, I hate magic."

"Hey, we're not destroying enemy's ancient this time!" Slithice shows the text on the paper to Magina.

 **"Find the real Christmas Tree and your team will win."**

They look at what they can see around them.

Christmas Trees.

Magina chops one of the trees. "Are you serious?"

Slithice's eyes are sparkling. "And there's a special prize for us!"

The Anti-Mage rolls his eyes. "What? Cosmetics?"

"Guys, I need help!"

"They can't help you, Morphling! They're not god!"

Slithice and Magina turn their face toward the voices. "Slark! It's been a while!" the Naga Siren waves her hand.

"Great. Walking water," Magina sighs.

"You just have to accept it and move on," the 'walking water', Morphling, replies.

"Don't quote other people's words."

"I thought there are 5 of us," Slithice looks at her surroundings, "Where's the last one?"

Slark sighs. "The last one—"

"Sometimes people just love to go by themselves," Morphling says, "Come on, help me!"

"They can't, Morphling!"

They arrive at the river. It's frozen because of winter.

"My friend is frozen," Morphling points the frozen river.

Magina crosses his arms. "I wish you were frozen already."

"No!" Slithice and Slark hug Morphling. "We need water to live!"

Morphling, our lord and savior.

* * *

"How do we get the real Christmas Tree?" Akasha asks as she looks at the trees on their base one by one.

"We need to prevent the others from getting the real Christmas Tree," Puck says. "We need to..."

"... **gank**!"

The others gasp.

"I like your idea. Let's do it," Kael smirks.

"It's time for pain! Let's go!" Akasha blinks, followed by Kael and Puck.

The remaining 2 Intelligence heroes are still standing in their place.

"Any ideas?" The Grand Magus called Rubick asks.

The Techies laugh happily. "We're going to plant bombs!"

Rubick smiles. "Great! I'll steal their skills then!"

* * *

"Of course, this will not be friendly match. We shall kill the others to prevent them from getting the real Christmas tree," Kunkka says as he draws his strategy on the map.

"No! It should be like this!" Leviathan also draws on the map with different pen color.

"No! Like this!"

"Your idea sucks!"

Tresdin rolls her eyes. "We're doomed."

"What do you mean 'we're doomed'? They'll get doomed!" Lucifer the Doom Bringer laughs.

"Yeah, right. Whatever," the Legion Commander sighs. _I don't care. Just let me go home._

The Wisp called Io approaches Tresdin. It says something, but no one can understand it. There's a link on Tresdin and Io. "What? I won't understand even if you link—"

They teleport to somewhere else.

* * *

Slark (who just happens to be in front of them alone) sighs as he looks at the trees. "If I'd known I'd end up doing this thing, I'd have stayed in Dark Reef Prison."

"I don't know what's happening, but it's time to duel!" Tresdin shouts as she duels Slark.

"Hey! There's him!"

"Who put observer ward here?!"

"The 5th person? I don't care!"

Morphling uses his ethereal blade, launching a projectile at Tresdin.

Magina blinks in front—or behind—or Io's left? No one knows. He hits it until it dies. So heartless.

Slithice makes 3 images of her and helps Morphling (and Slark) killing Tresdin.

Winner: Slark

"Thanks, everyone!"

"You poor fish," Slithice looks at injuries on Slark's body.

In a few seconds, Slark is fully healed. "Thanks for your concern, Slithice."

"You haven't answered my question! Where did you get that blade?" Magina asks as he points Morphling's Ethereal Blade.

Morphling raises his hands up with sparkling eyes. "Free Farm!"

Suddenly someone is visible. "Behold, the power of Kael, the amazing Invoker!" he shouts as he summons tornado to fly the Agility team up. When they're back to the ground, they lose their mana and get hit by meteor.

Puck comes from her magical ball and ties them with pink link. "Silence!"

Akasha blinks out of nowhere and screams at them. The screams can't be described just by a mere caps lock.

According to the Voice-Out-of-Nowhere, they killed 3 people.

Akasha lifts up her one eyebrow. "I thought there were 4 people."

On the jungle, Morphling just teleports from where he is to Slark's illusion on the jungle. He kills the creeps on the place. "Free farm!"

After murdering the Satyr and its family, Morphling moves to another camp but—

 _Boom!_

The Techies chuckle. "Boom~!"

* * *

On Dire's side...

Tresdin grips her weapon. "I will crush them next time!"

"We shall go together!" Kunkka suggests.

Io approaches them as it carries the Smoke of Deceit in its way. Nobody knows how it carries an item. Tether the smoke and teleport? Who knows.

"Let's," Lucifer uses the Smoke of Deceit, "gank!"

A few seconds after they exit the base, they're found out by the enemy.

"...but no one in sight," the Tidehunter walks around to find the enemy. Everyone else is also trying to find the one who breaks the smoke.

 _Boom!_

"Here! The enemy!" Leviathan shoots water from his mouth at Techies.

"But the smoke broke 30 seconds ago! It couldn't be him!" Kunkka protests.

Tresdin blinks. "Who cares?! It's time to duel!"

"Not so fast!" Invoker summons tornado to flies them up.

"We're coming!" Akasha blinks and ready to scream at them.

Suddenly a magic circle appears at Akasha's spot. "You are doomed!" Lucifer laughs.

Suddenly a magic circle also appears at Lucifer's spot. "You're also doomed!" Rubick laughs maniacally. "How does it feel to be doomed, Doom?"

"Explosion!" Techies blast off and deny themselves in front of Leviathan, killing him as well.

Puck comes out of nowhere. "Silence!"

The Strength and the Intelligence are fighting until someone interrupts, making them sleep with a song.

"We're coming!" Morphling tries to moves faster. "You guys are too fast!"

"Then buy Blink Dagger!" Magina blinks to Slithice. "I'm ready!"

"I love your voice, Slithice," Slark is also ready behind Rubick.

Morphling finally arrives. "Okay. Do it!"

Slithice makes 3 images of herself and stops singing. The war is almost like mini World War II.

Morphling throws projectile at Kael as the beginning of his sudden death.

"Duel!" Tresdin duels Puck.

"I can't do anything!" Akasha throws daggers at the Faerie Dragon.

Many people die from this mini World War II.

"I will not lose!" Kunkka shouts.

 **"Agility Victory!"**

Everyone stops hitting after they heard the Voice-Out-of-Nowhere. "WHAT?!"

* * *

In the Agility Realm, the other Agility heroes are happy with their Christmas Present, except the four that joined the war.

Slithice crosses her arms. "Who's the 5th one?"

"Yeah. It's mysterious," Morphling is also wondering.

"I hate magic," Magina sighs.

Slark moves his tail left and right "I thought you guys already know."

They stare at Slark. "So we're still discussing this since the beginning?" he asks.

Slithice narrows her eyes. "Tell us, Slark."

"It's Riki."

* * *

 _Before the battle begins..._

 _"It's nice to see the 4th hard carry."_

 _Slark startles. He turns to the voice to see something barely visible. "Are you serious, Riki? We don't have supports or something?"_

 _"5 of us are Agility heroes," Riki informs, "Anyway, I'm going to put wards and everything will be fine."_

 _"But 4 hard carries," Slark can't accept the fact._

 _Riki gives a thumbs-up. "You gotta believe!"_

 _"Okay," Slark gives up._

 _"Hey, Slark! I need help!"_

 _"I'll get going," Riki turns away, "Hopefully I won't get caught."_

 _"Just keep a low profile and we won't have any trouble," Slark says._

 _"Slark! Thank goodness you're here!" Morphling smiles._

 _"What?"_

 _"The river! My friend is frozen!"_

 _"Then don't ask me for help! Ask Xin!"_

* * *

"So, yeah, he was wandering around searching for the real Christmas tree while all of us are busy," Slark ends his story.

"Hey, Riki! Come here!" Slithice waves her hands.

The Stealth Assassin approaches them. "Where's the real Christmas tree?" Slithice asks.

"It's the tree near Roshan's pit," Riki answers, "on the left."

The four of them turn to silence. "Guys?"

"WE PASSED IT MANY TIMES!"

* * *

 _And that's how I make awkward Dota 2 story because I never know what's happening on a war._

 _pleasehavemercyonthis1kmmrguy_

 _Thanks for reading!_


End file.
